I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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