Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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