I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
