well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
