google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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