You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
