Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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