How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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