once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
