East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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