hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
