i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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