The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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