I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
