He is such a slut. More and more my type.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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