wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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