What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
