Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
