I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
