One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
