she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
