I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Drake has all the answers
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
