how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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