ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
