I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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