it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
