I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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