it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And then my night got REAL pukey
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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