What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize