I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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