Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
