I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i've created a new STD.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
