she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
