sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
