Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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