He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sext me about skeletons
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize