all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize