But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't turn off my feet"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have already put on my inside pants.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
