I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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