It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
