Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize