morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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