I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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