I'm jealous of your bromance
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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