How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
