Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
