You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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