Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How does one acquire holy water?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize