don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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