I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
