I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
