I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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