Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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