That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize