dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
