Will you blow on my dice?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
