My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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