Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
