can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
