This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
