Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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